dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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