hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
