At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
