I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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