Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
