he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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