please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
either way he was missing a nipple.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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