Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
