He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
