my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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