As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
