lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it hurts more in the daytime
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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