fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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