I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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