I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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