Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize