you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
