I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
