she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
