At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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