Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need water and some morals
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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