Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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