If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
