if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
