It's Friday. Sex?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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