my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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