my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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