Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it because I queefed?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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