speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
