He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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