she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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