my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just found a bag of teeth...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
