I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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