I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
