i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize