I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
