haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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