I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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