I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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