So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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