Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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