When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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