i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize