Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize