Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
