his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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