Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize