There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
