i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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