YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
