So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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