They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize