if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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