she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
MIDGETS
????
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
