True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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