drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
