pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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