i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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