About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
