she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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