As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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