I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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