ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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