Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
