she woke up with a sticky ear
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
handjob tips. give me some.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
